What do you want to be when you grow up?

“No man is fit to command another who cannot take care of himself.” (William Penn)

“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:29–31, NIV)

It’s back to school week in our house. It’s taken a little bit of time to get adjusted to the new schedule…for me more than anyone else I think.

I was talking to my 2^nd grader about her first day. One of the questions they went around the room and answered was the age-old, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Her answer has changed about a dozen times over the last year and I expect it to change a dozen more in the year ahead.

But that question got me thinking about a different question that I often ask my coaching clients: “How do you define success?” In a lot of ways, they’re the same question.

Success isn’t really about the number of zeros in a bank account, cars in the driveway, or degrees on the wall. It’s about the kind of person you really are. I try to push clients for a qualitative, more than a quantitative, answer to that question. The answer is about trying to determine, as clearly as possible, what a flourishing and successful life looks like for you.

In a similar vein, “What do you want to be” isn’t really about what job you’ll hold (though that’s the way we usually mean it). There’s a key linguistic difference between being and doing that’s well worth our remembering. “What do you want to be” is a simple invitation to think about the kind of person you hope to become.

So…here’s the question…what’s that look like for you? Do you have a clear picture in mind? If you don’t define success and you don’t decide who you want to be, you will undoubtedly drift. And you will not drift into a life of joy and health and peace and abundance.

I encourage clients to think through the different areas of their life and get that clear picture of flourishing and abundance and then, to the best of their ability, write that down. The reason behind this is fairly simple. “Without a vision, the people perish.” (Proverbs 29:18)

That’s not just a convenient application of scripture for organizational vision, but essential wisdom for a healthy human life.

I’ve been working with the David Crockett High School Volleyball team on this recently. We’ve used the landmark book, “The Inner Game of Tennis” to help them understand the different dynamics of the Inner Game that’s taking place while they’re playing the Outer Game on the court. The author, Tim Galwey, makes the claim that Performance = Potential – Interference. To increase performace, reduce the interference. One of the essential steps in doing that, he claims, is getting a clear picture in your mind for what success looks like.

Similarly, Dallas Willard taught that all lasting human change tends to follow the basic pattern of VIM. Vision – Intention – Means. But, it all starts with a vision.

What do you want to be when you grow up? What does success look like for you? Or, as a client of mine reframed it a few weeks ago, what does an abundant life look like? Do you have a vision for the kind of person you’d like to be?

I made a fairly simple tool to help you do this in the different domains of your life – physical, mental, spiritual, vocational, relational, etc. If you’re ready to define and decide, instead of drift, simply reply to this with the word “Pillar” and I’ll shoot that your way.

Know that I’m rooting for you! If there’s every anything I can do to help, just let me know.

Thanks for reading and make a great day,

Stephen Hopkins

PS – That saying from Jesus at the top of the page isn’t a bad start to help you think about what an abundant life might look like for you…loving God with every facet and element of your life. You could certainly do worse than that and I’m not sure you can do much better.