A Man Needs Community

"Now of those, who dare, abiding one beside another, to advance to the close fray, and the foremost champions, fewer die, and they save the people in the rear; but in men that fear, all excellence is lost."

-- Tyrtaeus, The War Songs of Tyrtaeus

The strength of Alexander the Great’s war machine was the phalanx. A shield wall wide and deep, it was vulnerable on it’s flank and rear, but virtually indestructible when deployed against a frontal assault. The Macedonian phalanx decimated tribes, cities, nations, and empires across three continents. At the time of its innovation and deployment, it enabled the largest land empire the world had ever seen covering roughly 2 million square miles.

If the strength of the Macedonian Army was the phalanx, then the strength of the phalanx was the courage of the individual soldier. What made the phalanx work was that the shield, worn on the left arm of the hoplite, protected the left side of that soldier’s body and the right side of his neighbor. When standing together, in tight formation, the phalanx appeared as an impenetrable wall of spear, shield, and sword.  Regardless of how many individual soldiers comprised its ranks, the phalanx became a single entity, a unified thing that took on an identity all its own apart from its constituent parts. It was a unit that only worked when it’s subcomponents rigorously held to their allotted task.

Apart from improper use due to tactical error by generals on the battlefield, which Alexander himself rarely made, the real weakness of the phalanx was the individual soldier. It’s often like that in life…an organism’s greatest strength is also its greatest weakness. If a soldier caved under pressure, broke ranks, gave into fear, turned his back and fled, the formation was broken and the phalanx was in danger of splintering.

“But in men that fear, all excellence is lost.”

The real danger in the phalanx was not of the battle itself, or even death per se, it was the fear that the brother to your right would fail to do his part. All that was needed was for the hoplite to stand, to hold his ground and keep his shield up. The man who gave into fear, listened to it’s seductive voice calling him to flee the field, that man lost the one virtue he brought to the battlefield…the courage to stand.

Any community, let alone an intentional community of men, properly ordered and understood, is like a phalanx. It exercises the discipline that John Wesley emphasized, “watching over one another in love.”  Brothers standing, side by side, shields up, advancing steadily against the enemy. They draw strength from the presence of the man beside them, trusting that if they do their part, their brother will do the same.

A man needs community.

Life is too hard, too violent, and all too short to try to do it on your own. Now, don’t mishear me…there is a necessary time and place for solitude. But solitude is very different from isolation; the one who properly exercises intentional solitude will understand this intuitively, but for those of us who isolate ourselves, the difference may not seem clear. But the difference is always, as Jesus was fond of pointing out, in the motivation and intention. Are you purposely using a time of being alone to reset, recenter, and re-emerge with freshness, energy, and joy? Or are you avoiding others out of fear?

The Soldier dispatched from the phalanx to scout the enemy from a nearby ridge and the Soldier who flees the phalanx to hide among the baggage train have very different motivations. Both are “alone” and yet they are not the same.

A man needs community. There is never a time when he doesn’t. It’s not an optional extra for those we think need “emotional support.” It’s an absolute necessity for a healthy life. The man who is isolated is the man who is vulnerable. The man who is isolated is the man who will fall…it’s just a matter of time.

I've met countless men who get going in life and before they know it, their schedule is full of obligations. They have a job they tolerate, but don't enjoy; kids they adore, but aren't emotionally present for; a spouse they love, but with whom they feel disconnected; expectations from whatever other organizations they're a part of....a life of duty, obligation, busyness, and distraction.

And yet...at the core of every man is a desire to live a life that counts. To do that, it takes a tribe, an army, a community around him spurring him on to the great and noble task set before him.

Better Men isn't the only kind of community there is. But it’s one of the few that has an intentionally holistic approach to formation, where men are committed to pursuing health, growth, and life in every domain of their life.

The real questions for all of us are…who are the brothers to my right and left? Who is my shield protecting? And whose shield is protecting me? What worthy goal or pursuit are we moving toward?

As much as anything in our world today, this is countercultural. Be bold, be courageous, and take a stand for something that matters with other men who refuse to surrender to the shockingly low expectations of our cultural moment. If it’s Better Men, great! We’d love to have you. But if not, great! Just do it, do something, and don’t make excuses any more.  Pursue the kind of relationships that can actually sustain the output in your life. Find your brothers, raise your shield, and hold your ground.