"What do you do?"
It's one of those questions people ask automatically when they meet you. It just flows off the tongue. And there's a cultural expectation that I give one clear and concise answer based on the stuff I do that supports our family's livelihood. To say more breaks cultural norms. It's like when someone says, "Hey, how are you doing?!" and you don't say, "Fine!" or "Busy!" or something like that. People generally don't want you to be honest with that answer...
All that to say, I don't have a great answer to "what do you do?". Up until a couple months ago, I had an easy answer even if it provoked an uneasy response. "I'm a Pastor," was usually met with either suspiscion (the conversation ended then and there), pity (a real "bless your heart" vibe), or enthusiasm (quickly followed by, "how big is your church?").
Now...what am I supposed to say? In one sense I'm still a "Pastor". Though I don't have the formal title anymore (a blessing for many different and possibly surprising reasons), I preach at a few churches when asked. I'm a missioner with the Inspire Movement. We lead a small (but mighty!) House Church movement called Houses of Healing. The truth is, I'm a committed follower of Jesus and he's given me influence, training, and gifts that make it impossible for me to not lead in some capacity. Whether I have a "job" in "ministry" or not, I have a job in ministry...there's a lot of nuance there, but I think there's a lot of truth too. The trouble is, I'm not sure a single word encapsulates that in a satisfactory way. There are a few that could work, but they tend to provoke more controversy than they're worth with folks.
I could say, "I'm a Leadership Coach". But that also feels a bit trite. I started this company, Pillar Leadership. Of the things my company does (and will do), Leadership Coaching is one very enjoyable and important dimension. But that's certainly not all I do. And "coaching" means a dozen different things to a dozen different people. When I've tried to explain it to folks, I've been called a "Life Coach", a "Business Coach", a "Success Coach"... none of which I actually called myself. I'm either bad at explaining what coaching is or we all tend to be bad at listening...or perhaps a mix of both!
I could say, "I'm a writer." Again, true. But it's vague. And doesn't really provide much income. Or any. Yet. But maybe one day it will. Regardless, I'm not bothered much if it does or doesn't. I write because I enjoy it and it's one of the most effective means of precise communication available.
I could say I'm the CFO for my wife's businesses. That's technically not incorrect and it does illicit some fun reactions. Wendy is amazing and has such an entrepenuerial spirit. In December, we opened a Luxury Salon Suite in the first floor of our house. Next month she's launching her boutique line, Satin & Soul (with Marla and Hannah by the way...way to go ladies!). I keep her spreadsheets in order and try to navigate tricky financial conversations with grace (I'm getting better...I think!). I make sure her business filings are up to date with all the requisite municipal authorities. But the truth is, she got along in business just fine without me before, and I'm sure she would today if she needed to!
So...all that brings me back to the dilemma at hand. How do I answer the classic, "What do you do?" question?
This post (and quite possibly subsequent ones) will attempt to come up with a general answer to that general question. As a family, we are in a very unique season. Within the span of a year, we'll have started three businesses and a non-profit. Transparently, that's a lot. And I don't know that I'd recommend it to most people (if anyone). Also transparently, I don't know that I'd be in this position if I didn't have a strong sense of calling to be here. It was far less a voluntary choice than it was a response. Between you and me, that doesn't make it any easier.
John Wesley (the 18th century founder of Methodism) made it a regular practice of his to journal. But he did so with an eye on those journals being published. He shared his experiences and his personal reflections on those experiences with the belief that they would help others in ways he couldn't understand. Maybe it's because of my background in Methodism, but I like that idea. So whether this is a single entry that's never addressed again or it's the beginning of a series of thoughts, I wanted to share in that same spirit.
We've had a lot of really interesting experiences. There's been ups and downs. But all in all, I wouldn't trade any of it for...anything. I'm currently loving the journey. As a family, we're invested in a worthy cause and journeying to a worthy end. And we're doing it together which is pretty fun.
Hopefully the next time I see you, I'll have come up with a really clever answer to the "what do you do?" question. But in the mean time, thanks for reading. And a special thanks to the many of you who have supported us on the journey thus far.
Make a great day,
Steve
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